Pizza and Bingo Bananza!
Last night we went to school for the "pizza and
bingo night" bash. They had a pizza night on Wednesday, too, but that was at
CiCi's pizza.. so that's different. Plus there wasn't any bingo. Unless that dog
in that truck was named Bingo, but I'll never be able to be sure.
We go in and see braggy mom. She's the one that
tries to one-up you at every opportunity. Like keeping up with the Jones but
with words. They live on the other side of the Bumpasses. One house down. She
never talks to me, the most I ever get is a head nod. At school
functions, though...she becomes my best friend forever (with little hearts floating all above the words)! Honestly, such
good friends we're probably secretly sleeping together. Her son is in Nathan's
class. The kid has never been over to play. Not once. The kid never even leaves
his house! As a matter of fact, last night was the first time I'd ever heard him
talk. Anyway, so of course, I had to sit with my BFF or she wouldn't have put
out that night.
Nathan's teacher was there. She has a seven year
old and they sat with us as well. Boy does she have her hands full. She's a
single mom and half way through the hullabaloo her sons ADD medication wore off.
I don't know how she doesn't kill someone. She's got that "I'm going a little
crazy" look in her eyes sometimes. Maybe we should keep our eyes on
her.
DeWitte got our pizza and bingo cards for us, since
I was so busy catching up with BFF. I get a kick out of her ability to one up
everything I say. I lost 5 pounds, she lost 15. I don't know how she hides it,
she looks the same to me. Nathan got a new bike, her kid got a 10 speed. I
wonder where he rides it. Probably the kitchen.. that duplex looks roomy.
So, we got our pizza, we got our bingo cards, we
got our drawing tickets.. let the shindig begin! The first thing they did was
call out numbers on the blue tickets they handed out..we won! I made Nathan go up because
I try to keep a low profile. Don't want to run into someone in the grocery store
and be remembered as the big "pizza and bingo" night winner. He came back with a
chalk board. I explained that it was an old school white board and he seemed
satisfied with that answer. They called another number, we didn't win. They
called a third number and we won again! If we won this much at bingo, we were
really gonna clean up!
I sent Nathan up again when my BFF's son said he
wanted to win, too and followed him up. BFF didn't even try to stop him. She
just let him go...she's crazy like that, with all of her no discipline, let my kid
do what ever he wants rules and stuff. Nathan is on his way back when I hear the
perky PTA lady ask if she can help him. "I won" he said. "Two winners", she
said, "on one ticket?" She gave him a sucker and sent him back to his seat. He
was fine with that. I congratulated him and BFF on their prize. BFF mentioned
that the sucker was better than the book Nathan won..I gotta say, this time, she
was right.
Perky PTA lady made an announcement that they had a sale on the "extra" pizza's. $5, while they last. She didn't want to get "stuck" with a bunch of extra pizzas this time. BFF got a couple after telling me how bad the pizza was. I guess she planned on taking them home and adding her own personal touch in her kitchen. She better watch out for that bike. After all the pizza's were gone, a few more family's showed up. Perky PTA announced that they could go down to the store and get some more but they'd have to be full price. I hope they weren't gonna get them the frozen kind, I didn't see a microwave anywhere and the kitchen was locked up tight. I guess maybe next time, they'll wait more than 15 minutes to make that first announcement, I hate to see people miss out.
Perky PTA lady made an announcement that they had a sale on the "extra" pizza's. $5, while they last. She didn't want to get "stuck" with a bunch of extra pizzas this time. BFF got a couple after telling me how bad the pizza was. I guess she planned on taking them home and adding her own personal touch in her kitchen. She better watch out for that bike. After all the pizza's were gone, a few more family's showed up. Perky PTA announced that they could go down to the store and get some more but they'd have to be full price. I hope they weren't gonna get them the frozen kind, I didn't see a microwave anywhere and the kitchen was locked up tight. I guess maybe next time, they'll wait more than 15 minutes to make that first announcement, I hate to see people miss out.
Let the bingo begin! The cards were laminated and
the markers were cheerios. A very upscale affair. The teachers son cried a half
dozen times because he kept bumping his card and messing up his cereal. BFF's son didn't seem interested.
He just sat and ate his cheerios. We didn't win again but twice was more than
enough.
Nathan got a headache towards the end, so we had to
leave. I gave BFF our cards. I'm sure the next time I see her, she'll tell me
about all the wonderful prizes she won with them, because, of course, her luck
is so much better than mine!
Comments
i like your stories. i don't like school functions, at all. about the only thing they're usually good for is people watching and feeling all aloof and superior.
you can continue to attend them and entertain me with these narratives; that way i don't have to go to any more.......
For the love of god - wait until you are cleaning up and THEN offer the pizza's. Also, why in the world would you have PTA Pizza night right AFTER CiCi's Pizza night - both school events? Is it national pizza week or something? Did I miss the flyers for that one? Does the school get kickback for all pizzas sold this week? I'm just curious, that's all.
lmao @ DAUTB!!
Oh Jamie, you make me want to have kids so I can tell stories like these. (okay, not reeeeally, I have enough with the kids on my block)
anyway, this is hilarious & too funny how they are trying to unload pizzas before people even finish digesting...sheez.
this made me laugh..
The teachers son cried a half dozen times because he kept bumping his card and messing up his cereal.
Haha!
My kids are all grown up and I SO do NOT miss all the school fucktions.
You tell GREAT stories! ROFL!!!
This is too funny! I have one-uppers in my family.....I save the phrase "well, isn't that precious..." for just such a situation....
Uppity Broad! That just frosts my windows that she would let her kid coattail on your win! Uugghhh!
Whenever u wanna rumble with her...just holla at me!