Where's the love?

New Years Goofiness 2009

I've been having a lot of introspection time lately.  Charlotte still isn't going to sleep for the night until around 3am, so I'm up late with Abram trying to soothe her and make her sleep.  Laying in our bed with her in between us, looking over at him and realizing that we haven't kissed or cuddled much since she's been born, really sucks something out of me. 

I don't realize how much I miss the contact with him until I don't have it.  Until Charlotte was born, I took every kiss and little passing butt pinch for granted.  Now, time even touching while wathing TV is precious.  Kissing?  We have to remember to do it.  Telling each other "I love you" is now a routine for me, but a good one.  It's not obligatory at all, but I constantly look at him and Charlotte together and think to myself "Damn I love that man" and instead of just thinking it, I make myself say it. 

I had read about the toll having a baby takes on the intimacy of a marriage, but I didn't realize it ran so shallow.  Sure, you don't have sex for awhile, I figured that.  That's the deep intimacy level.  But this shallow water -- just hugging, cuddling, kissing -- I wasn't prepared for the effort it would take to maintain that sweet, every day intimacy.

Luckily, I have a kick ass husband who isn't freaked out by me coming up to him out of the blue and clinging to him, telling him I love him, and then grabbing his junk.  :)  We're cool like that.